BLAH!!

FRICKEN LONELINESS SUCKS MONKEY BALLS....that is all.

Mommy and me date pt 3!

Tonight was Skylars turn for a date night. She has been anticipating it all week. She wanted to go to the movies (ambitious for a 2 year old) so I took her to the $3 theater to see Horton Hears a Who. It was cute and it held her attention for most of the time. Halfway thru it, I had to take her to get a Hot Dog for dinner. She loved the time spent with me...and with the Racer arcade game I couldnt pull her away from. haha. She passed out on the way home at 6pm.

I can get into my pants!!

Today, for kicks and giggles, I decided to try on a pair of pants I couldnt even come close to buttoning before. Im excited to report, that after losing 21 pounds since being here, that I can infact button them!! (dont get me wrong, i still muffin top..but at this point i dont care!) I need to lose another 20 pounds at this point. I look really small in that photo even tho im still a size 14..but who am I to complain? Im not that type that could ever pull off a size 8 without looking ghastly. Lord bless the curvy girls!

Thankful Thursday!

I love sunny days! We've been experiencing some cold here lately, along with overcast skies and wind. Today I see the sun peeking thru the clouds. Woot! I cant wait for the pool weather to be back so I can get my tan on. Ive also discovered the most amazing show for car enthusiasts..Its on BBC called Top Gear. I heart Richard Hammond!! Im totally sucked into this show..Thanks dad! Here are a few more things Im thankful for...

New Friends (ive made a few lately)
my new tv show TOP GEAR
Instant Messenger
Cards and pretty stationary
my new Papasan Chair
Getting registration and my testing done for school..
Mommy and Me dates
Skylar is doing well with potty training
Jamiroquai, without his grooves I wouldnt be able to be as happy..
My camera
Lemon Blossoms (bombtastic little cakes)
Eric made new friends in the complex
Taking walks (Back to Trader Joes today..)
Weight loss!!

New Student!

Im officially enrolled at the CNI college and will start classes August 26th. Im very excited, to say the least, and finally feel like there is a silver lining to my life. Soon I will not have to live with my parents, because I will be able to afford a place of my own without the help of anybody, under my new career as MASSAGE THERAPIST AND HOLISTIC HEALTHCARE PRACTITIONER. Pretty cool title, huh? I have to wear scrubs to school. How weird is that? Im going for the actual degree not just the diploma, so I can work in far more places with much more experience. The extra long title is a bonus too. LOL. I just need to get thru 14 months of schooling..Lord help me. Im very nervous, but everytime I look thru the courses of study I get excited all over again. Im also looking forward to meeting new people and making some friends. Wish me luck!

Mommy and me dates..

Today was Erins turn to have her mommy and me date. We decided to get out the ol camera, head to the pier for some photo fun, then go to BJ's for a "Pizookie" (which happens to be a freshly baked cookie hot out of the oven, with vanilla ice cream ontop.) It was really fun taking pictures with my daughter because she is so willing and such a ham. I got them home and decided to play around with the brightness and contrast feature on my editor. I love how they turned out. Her hair is so red that it makes for some great pics. Check out our adventures!


Pizookie is here!


We colored for about a half an hour afterward!


Mmmm, refreshing on a hot day!



Sight seeing...



Pretty red head! I love her hair....



Mommy and me dates are special!



Begging for Gumballs...



Resting before we head home...

*Ode to my Theme Parties...*

I'm feeling pretty sappy at the moment and missing the sweet comforts that come from throwing a theme party, or attending one. As I perused my photo albums tonight, I got misty looking at all the fun I once had. I miss my friends in Washington and all our shinanigans. Here are some of my favorite pics from last years festivities...enjoy.

Here is my 1930's Murder Mystery Dinner that took months of planning..(I actually built a bookstore front, and turned my house into a speak easy...)


This was my 30th birthday picture taken at my karaoke 80's party. Thats my ex husband in the picture..Isnt he cute? We're still friends. We had many great adventures together.



Founder and president of the infamous "GLITTERATI" girls. We tore up the town in our sequines and high heels.



Pimps N Hoes party...I was "sprinkles dejour" and I actually won the Ho cup that night. All the other girls just looked like strippers, but I took the time to actually look like a real ho. Complete with a ratty hairdo from all my time in the back seat of a car, sequined top, fishnets, pleather skirt, and handcuffs from my run-in with the Po Po. Everyone laughed that the Mormon girl won that..



The awesome vintage pinup calendar my girlfriends put together..I was august. Like my peaches?



My 1940's night with the Spruce Goose..That was the greatest night ever.



And just for nostalgic purposes, to prove ive been at this a long time..My highschool 1996 homecoming dance. My friends (who are the ones I still party with today) decided we all should go in Disco wear..It wasnt a themed dance, so we got some looks, but we had the best night EVER. Im the one in the middle with the bad perm.

Hot fun in the summer time....

Im diggin our pool..its 90 degrees this past week, and we've taken full advantage it. Doesnt that water look nice?? Somebody come down here and visit me, dang it. I need to share this paradise with SOMEONE!! LOL...Erin got stung by her first bee at the pool today. In the bees defense, he was just tryin to get out of that puddle on his own. Erin didnt have to try to help him out....On a brighter note, my tan is coming along fabulously and im down 21 pounds now. (More pictures of that to come...)

More book reviews

Today I started on a new book..and strangely enough finished it in the same day. Thats what happens on a sunday, I suppose. The book is WICKED LOVELY by Melissa Marr. It was an interesting read and I kinda dug it. Its about a highschool girl who is pursued by the Summer King..a Faery, amidst a terrifying faery world that nobody can see but her (thanks to a hereditary gift...a gift the Faeries dont know she already possesses.) He is determined she is the one to be his queen, but she loves another guy named Seth who is a bit gothic, pierced, and lives in a converted Train. All sorts of Faery wickedness insues. I wont spoil it for anyone who is into fantasy novels, but it was pretty good. I never thought I would admit it, however, that everyone ends up winning in this book, and that disappointed me a little bit. I like the torn feelings and suspense that a book holds that doesnt cater to everyones expectations. Her writing style was a little weird and it took a moment to figure out who was speaking at what time. Otherwise not a bad book. Its pretty to look at on my shelf too, so thats a bonus!

~Book Reviews~

A few days ago I finished up the novel "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens. It was a long read, but interesting, none the less. I liked how all the characters came together in the end,(despite the fact that I guessed everything perfectly before it happened,) but wish we got a little more insight into the weird life of Miss Havisham. Im glad I was able to add it to my growing collection of classic literature. My copy also contained the original ending along with the one settled upon, which is unique.

The second book is being added to my non classic literature. The book is called Garden Spells. I started it yesterday and finished it this morning. A very easy read. It was a really cool book, because it had to do with two enchanted sisters who have special gifts. One of them is the ability to garden, and take the flowers therein to be apart of special meals, desserts, wines, etc. All flowers have certain abilities, and depending on the dish you make, it determines your moods, insight, clarity, vulnerability, passions, etc..It was a wonderful book, although I didnt like the F words used a couple times. It took away from the romance of the book and brought me back to dirty reality from time to time. There is a gratuitous scene in the book that takes place under an apple tree involving the handsome neighbor fellow. Very passionately tastey. Its not a kids book, by any means. Despite the small flaws, I still found it charming. I especially loved that at the end of the book it broke down the "Kitchen Journal" and showed what flowers meant certain things and how to prepare them. Fabulously interesting. I wonder if its true?

Mommy and Me dates..

Eric and I had our first mommy and me date yesterday. I put aside $20 and told him to pick something for he and I to do together..Anything he wanted. He chose to go here for dinner:



Rubys is a 50's style diner at the end of the pier overlooking the ocean. The guys wear white shirts with little white hats and black bow ties and aprons. The girls wear the red and white pinstripe uniforms and aprons with the cute waitress headbands. Eric said he wants to be a server when he is a teenager so he can wear the uniforms also. HA!





We both had a chocolate shake with a cherry ontop while waiting for our food.






Eric chose a much healthier meal then I did, scarfing down his turkey burger and apple slices. I chose to eat a big basket of the greatest garlic fries ever created. My breath reeked for hours even after brushing, but man was it worth it! (That should help me ward off any illness that might want to overtake ME this week...hehe.)




Afterward we walked the pier, and got to see the pelicans diving into the waters. (Super cool to watch those humongous things make a splash.)The surfers were in abundance as usual. But something cooler yet, were the dolphins! There were around four of them gracefully cutting thru the water not far from the surfers. Amazing to watch!



Afterward, he and I went window shopping and checked out the vendors on the streets. Eric was totally in awe of the Rock and Roll Emporium (my personal heaven)as I had to slap his hands away from the many autograph guitars, pictures, tee shirts, you name it-they had it. All in all it was a successful date and Eric had a bawl. We cant wait for our next date, which will take place at the movies, to see Prince Caspian, the new Narnia sequel.

tHANKFUL tHURSDAY!

Its Thursday! Almost the end of the week..wahoo!! This week has been fairly crazy. We've had house guests, two sick kids, lots of running around california, and crazy gorgeous weather!! Im a little exhausted, actually...Here are some more things Im thankful for:

MOTHERS DAY
MOMMY AND ME DATES
WALKS
TRADER JOES
A TARGET CARD
COMPLETED HOMEWORK
SCRIPTURES
IM DOWN 21 POUNDS!!
MANGO BODY BUTTER (MY SKIN IS SOO DRY!)
TRUE FRIENDS
GOOD MAIL
READING A GOOD BOOK
A GREAT MOVIE ("P.S. I LOVE YOU" IS A GOOD ONE..LORD BLESS THE GOOD LOOKING IRISHMEN!)
PASSING MY DRIVERS TEST! IM OFFICIALLY CALIFORNIAN NOW..
CARMEL APPLES..YUM!
A COMFY PAIR OF SHOES!!

Mothers Day contimplations...

After reading Jill's blog about not being sure about the concept of mothers day, I got to thinking about whether or not I really deserved such a holiday, personally.

I, to be quite honest,am not at all a natural mother. I struggle with it daily. My kids will probably grow up to be burdens of society because of me, and my lack of mental stability in raising them up proper. If it werent for my own mother, I think I would crawl into a hole and hope never to be found. Truly, this blessed holiday, is not deserved by me.

I suppose I should give a little background into why I behave the way I do. Its not a pleasant tale. In my ten years of adult hood, Ive gone thru some AMAZING trials that have left severe scars on my countinence. I have lost twins, buried a son, been homeless, survived two marriages to very unfaithful husbands, always needing depression meds BADLY, but never having medical to do so, gall stones, kidney stones,I am dealing with a son who has severe mental trauma, anxieties, and abandonment issues (thanks to these divorces and moving from house to house), a developmentally delayed daughter, and my youngest child with horrifying allergies, dermatological trials, and a crazy strong will...Now I find myself living in a two bedroom condo with my parents and kids, no job or schooling, alone, at age 30. Its enough to drive me to drink...If I did such things. LOL> Im trying my best to learn from these things, but there are certain things I just cant help unleashing,( like my rage issues..and I shut down, curl up in a ball and cry a lot..) under duress. I am eternally grateful for my own mother for helping me to get thru life. I know most people who blissfully breeze thru life without a care in the world but the usual bills, but my life has not been the picture of fabulousness. I tired my hardest to make it so, by throwing parties and making lots of friends, and trying to live like I was 18 again..all things that pulled my farther from my responsibilities.

I am going to try to not be so hard on myself right now, and think of the few things that I DO RIGHT AS A MOTHER. Maybe then I will be able to take it easy on myself and think that life isnt so bad after all...So here goes!

1.) My children always say prayers..
2.) They understand what good manners are with strangers and other family members, and use them..
3.) I never get upset that my son uses all of my computer paper for his drawings and story books..even when there isnt any left for me to use, because I see his potential.
4.) My son told me that he likes it when I dance around the kitchen singing while doing my chores..
5.) My son also told me he loves it when I call him Sweetheart..
6.) All of my kids are very intelligent and scored very high on their testing before kindergarten, being able to do more then most 1st graders.
7.) My son doesnt go to the bathroom like a girl..even tho he didnt have a father to teach him how to stand. I did my best to explain..LOL
8.) Im very protective of them..even if I seem like I dont like them from time to time. (I really do love them with all my heart, I promise!!)
9.) I can walk out of a room to cool off when angry, rather then to beat them..which is really hard for me
10.) I let Eric make his own sandwiches, even tho the mess drives me CRAZY
11.) My kids are always well dressed and come first where money is concerned.
12.) I try to make sure they are all well rounded..PIANO LESSONS, GARDENING, GOLF CLUBS, FISHING POLES, GYMNASTICS, ART, DRESS UP CLOTHES, SOCCER, BASEBALL, VOLLEYBALL, BOOGIE BOARDING, ETC...
13.) Skylar and mommy have walks a few times a week for an hour or two.
14.) I do mommy and me dates for each kid once a week. (This week Eric and I are going to the movies and getting popcorn.)
15.) At least two of my three kids, LOVE vegetables..
16.) I make childrens cd's that they sing to loudly in the car, even tho I cant stand them.
17.) I make them each special birthday photo books documenting their yearly growth and fun times.
18.) I have started reading to them a chapter in the Book of Mormon every night before bed..
19.) We attend church regularly..
20.) Im always trying to create fun memories with them (so hopefully they wont remember all of my yelling and frustrations..haha)
21.) I write down all of the witty things they do, and hope to make them books to give on their 18th birthdays.

To be fair..here are a few things I desperately need to work on:

1.) I yell...A lot..I need to harness my Chi and relax more..Stop speaking to them so harshly. I know they are impressionable.
2.) My favorite saying is "Do you want me to beat you?"..I need to stop threatening them.
3.) PATIENCE..I need to take into account more, that they are children, not mini adults.
4.) HIDING...I withdraw a lot to the computer as a way of decompressing. Its good because I dont dangle my kids out the window when Im angry..but its bad because I leave them to their own devices, or to whomever is in the same room with them.
5.) laziness...I again, will hide so i dont have to deal with them all the time. Its hard being a single mom, and I need some alone time. It never happens tho...I go a little mental. I send them to bed early a lot because of this reason. Stop being lazy, Jeri!!
6.) BALANCE...I really do fight hard to still be ME, despite the fact that I have to be soley focused on them, because I dont have the spouse to lean on. I am tryin too hard to maintain my old self, tho not condusive to the "mothering" lifestyle. I need to grow up.
7.) Treatment..I need to treat them like MY treasures and not like some kids Im babysitting.
8.) focus on the memories and capture their essence in the age they are now..stop wishing they were older and mature enough to fend for themselves. Man, Im terrible.

On a side note..I would like to say that Im completely inlove with my babies. I feel it is an honor they chose me to be their mom and will try better to deserve them. Heaven help me for all my downfalls.

I hope whoever reads this doesnt judge me..I leave that to the Lord.

Happy Mothers Day!!

Today was one of the best mothers days I think I've ever had..It was a very spiritually uplifting day. It started off with my dad giving my mother and I hand- made leis that arrived from Hawaii yesterday afternoon. We looked beautiful sporting our purple and white leis to church and it really meant a lot that he thought of us to do that. My children excitedly gave me the hand-made presents they did at school, and each one was thoughtful and wonderful. Eric made me a bookmark with his picture laminated in it(I cant wait to use it, since I read like crazy now,) and a colorful drawing, story, and card. Erin made me a plaster happy face with beads and a very cute card.

When we got to church, the children stood up to sing a medley of special mothers day songs, and I was shocked and amazed that Eric went up willingly..AND SANG! You normally couldnt drag him to do such things. Erin grinned from the stand, ear to ear, and belted out the songs the best of her ability. Upon sitting back down she squealed "I did it mommy! I sang to you!Did you see me? I did it!" in the loudest voice possible with tears in her eyes. It made two whole rows tear up at this little girls excitement.

Afterward, we mothers were presented with a sachet of dove chocolates to show appreciation for the jobs we do, by the men in the ward. We had a lovely lesson during sunday school and were presented with more tantalizing treats. During a song I was hit with an overwhelming feeling and began to bawl uncontrolably. I felt like a goon and left, but the feeling I got was of my son, who passed away. It was the strangest feeling but I knew he was there with me on this special day. Something in my head said "Mommy, I would have been 8 next month.." And that is what hit me like a rock. (Isaac would have been baptised next month had he lived beyond infancy.)

This mothers day has been the most special to me so far, and I will never forget it. I cant describe the amount of love Ive felt today. I hope you all had a very wonderful day as well.

Skylars Blog

Skylar wants her own blog, and at age 2 I think she is too little..But after many a temper tantrum, I decided to let her use mine as her outlet. Here is her first entry.....

* I eat popcorn. Im going to Disneyland. I want to go on horses and get on the piggies. I want to see Aladdin show! I want to go on a rocket ship and go to the moon. I want to go on choo choo trains. I love my choo choo trains! They have one at the Disneyland. My mom does my blog. I get to visit daddy and gramma Debbie. I get to stay at daddys house for the summer and he makes my bunk bed. I want to see the piggies and horses with daddy.

THE END.*

I must be stopped!!

I am on a very sappy romantic movie kick and cant stop buying them!! My mother and I have even deemed Wednesday night, GIRLS MOVIE NIGHT in my living room, while eating Weight Watchers fudgebars (for only 3 points a piece). I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I miss having my lover and friend. I miss the closeness, the romance, the wonderful stories we created...So I have to live vicariously thru fake people and fake stories. At any rate, Im a freak, and I know it. Someday my prince will come.....Then I can sell my movies in a garage sale. *Teehee.* Until then, bring on the tissues and fudgebars!

*Do you ever have moments of sappy weakness?
*Have you tried the Weight Watchers fudgecicles? (They are delish!)
*Any recommendations for great love stories?

SPT!!

We were given our Self Portrait Tuesday assignments for the entire month of May. A very cute idea, so I can focus more intently on what I wish to post in advance. She went with a theme this month of SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE...(four things for four tuesdays.)

MY SOMETHING OLD:

I had the great opportunity to see the Spruce Goose last November for its 60th anniversary since its one and only flight back in 1947 (OLD PLANE). They suggested you show up in true 40's fashion for the occassion. I was decked to the hilt and loved every minute of it. The picture has me wearing authentic OLD 1930's jewelry and purse. The hairstyle I am wearing is from an OLD book of vintage pinups, and I would have won that contest had I not been in the giftshop at the time. Grr..LOL. I am so glad to have made that a part of my memories.