my quest!

Here is my progress so far in the weight loss department. I still have about 30 pounds to go. Im down to 165 now, and things are goin pretty well. Id like to tone up more then anything at this point. im getting smaller but im still a jiggly mess of stretch marks and cellulite..only now i dont have the fat to fill it in with. ugh. being a woman really sucks sometimes. I started jogging and i love it. i wish i could do it more often, but its hard while pushing a stroller. haha. I'll post another pic in a month to see what things are lookin like by that point, also. wish me luck!

Twilight zone....

Ive been on a few LDS dating sites since my divorce just to see whats out there and I have to say that im a little baffled. Almost everybody seems to be single in Utah..why cant you people find each other?? Also, from an outsiders perspective it would infact look as if we were a cult, or our own culture entirely made up of wannabe Californians (fake blondes, manicures, fake tans, and Holister/Abercrombie wearers)..And whats with the Jack Johnson obsession?? Its like a twilight zone..not Zion! LOL. Its been hysterical. Everyone is the same (guys and girls)..Its a little creepy. Anyway I just had to share these thoughts because they've been plaguing me. Ive been checked out by hundreds of guys and theyve all been like clones of each other. Weirdo-rama! Will I ever find a guy who likes a curvy bodied, natural brunette, that enjoys all music and might show her enthusiasm with a swear word every now and then? c'mon guys!

Happy Birthday Skylar Paige!

Today my baby turns 3! Where has the time gone? I cant believe my last child is potty trained, well learned, and socially excellent. I am proud to be her momma, even if she is a stinker. She is with her dad for her birthday, 2 states away, and im aching inside. I know she is having fun and i'll see her next week. I miss my girl so much. Here are a few things about her that I love.

1.) She is the smartest 3 year old ive ever met.
2.) She is goofy!! I mean really goofy...
3.) She has the tiniest feet
4.) You wont expect the rough, raspy, low voice that comes out of her.
5.) She loves to dress up like a princess, and tote around a light saber.
6.) She will banter with you like an adult, giving off her oppinions
7.) She LOVES nursery in church
8.) She loves to sing
9.) She adores her big brother
10.) She has huge teeth! haha
11.) She has sensitive feelings
12.) She loves to play drums and guitar

Fashion Faux Pas

Today for church I put on my favorite black pencil skirt that fit me oh so fine..nice and tight like a corset. I LOVED this skirt. I wear it with my 3 and a half inch heels which make my calves look oh so fine, and off I go! Today during sacrament meeting I had to pee...so I get up and go. Thats when I notice that my zipper has busted, leaving it attached at the top, but split open all the way down past my butt. CRAP!!! I have to head home leaving my kids and parents in their pew. Once I get home, I realize that I cant get the sucker off! Its too tight to slip above my head, and too tight to go below my hips..Im stuck. So I sit around with board shorts on the rest of the two hours, and my pencil skirt which is now cinched up at my waist, waiting for my mom to come home and help me out. She had to cut it off of me. Im so bummed cuz i freaking loved that skirt. Its been one heck of a day, followed by a family friend nearly choking to death on our patio..I'll save that story for another time, tho. How was everybody elses holiday weekend?

My pout session

Feel free to skip over this section if you dont want to hear my pout..I just needed an outlet without actually dragging others into my personal crisis. As you all well know, im newly divorced. Ive felt pretty betrayed this year on more then one occassion, and I just want my life to settle back into a nice normal routine..especially emotionally. I dont want anybody to feel like this rant is aimed towards them in any way..I realize that this is all MY issue, and everyone else is living life accordingly. My ex has found himself a girlfriend..which is fine. I really sincerely wish him all the best of luck in the world where he can find love and happiness....My beef, however, is that it happens to be a girl who hates my guts and relishes in my unhappiness. I can just see her laughing inside at that fact that she has the man who gave me up. (She was already flirting with him the day we announced our seperation.) I could ignore this...BUT she has now begun to infultrate my best friends. I know that she will have to be around them; I know that she will be aquainted with them in some ways; but the fact that she tries to buddy up with these people and send them cutesy messages really urks me. I know its not my friends fault...they are being courteous. I just wish that my ex could understand that enough is enough, where my hurt is emotionally. Is nothing sacred anymore? Is there no such thing as loyalty? I know this prolly sounds really stupid and unjustified..but its how im feeling right now and I cant control it. I'll prolly look back on it in a few months and go, daaaang, youre stupid! LOL. I already had my husband stolen away by a girl who hated me and wanted to infultrate my life..this just feels like a second hard blow with another girl who has always had it out for me. My ex told me to get over myself. I know i'll get over it...I just need to be sad for a minute.

Time to reclaim my independence!

Monday I start school for the first time since 1996. I think im gunna be sick, yet im also very excited. I feel too old to be starting over again in life, but its finally time I try something ive always been curious about. Im going to be a Massage Therapist and Holistic Healthcare Practitioner. Notice I said "im going to be?" Thats right, im determined to do well at this and have fun! I will be taking night classes monday thru thursday, so I have my weekends free, and I can be a mom during the day. This makes me extremely happy. I have about 14 months of schooling, which seems like a lifetime, but it will go by quickly, I have no doubt. I am doing the degree program in an actual medical college, not just accessing a little diploma out of a strip mall complex. Please pray for me, as im sure i'll need all the help I can get when it comes time to learn anatomy and physiology. Hopefully Im not in a class with all 18 year olds...Please Lord, throw me a bone, here! LOL. Wish me luck!

Washington trip!~

I just got back from spending two and a half weeks in washington and im freaking exhausted! The 18 hour drive itself wasnt bad at all. I love traveling so it didnt phase me much..Even with two kids in the backseat talking nonstop, and being accosted by swarms of leaping crickets during the nightly bathroom breaks at Britney Spears locations of choice...the gas stations. Viva la Roadtrips!

STAYIN WITH SARA- I got to stay with my yang sista, Sara and her familia. I had a BLAST. We chilled, jammed, and played my ever beloved Scattergories and Park and Shop. We watched Anchorman a few times and spent the entire week quoting it to death. We cruised in the Jetta to some funk with the windows rolled down and the bass bumpin. Hans came over so we could get some cool pics taken. The theme this time around was vintage mechanic girls..but I had a falling out with my ex so getting the cars I had inmind sorta fell thru. We went to the train yard instead. I desperately tried to make some overly elaborate memories..even attempting my hand at getting arrested. Sara was there to burst my bubble and real me back to reality. Sigh* Instead we went around Tacoma and took pictures of those who WERE getting arrested.



I thought my moment had finally come for some domestic violence back at Saras, as her brothers got into a fight, where they proceeded to beat each other unmercifully with shoes. Plans were foiled again as they wound up making up and ran to get lunch together..No cops were called, and no shoes were seriously harmed. Here are some pics of my stay with the Sachas.













BEACH ADVENTURES-I also got to hang out with my twin brother from another muther..Russ. We drove for like 12 hours one day cruising the Olympic Peninsula looking for secluded beaches, cool towns, and even hunting down Washingtons largest Spuce tree..At one point a corner store merchant tried to lure us to some hot springs, which made us raise some eyebrows..Weird yokels..I spent three days total with Russ. We went and saw Step Brother, tried not to get pooped on by low flying seagulls at CI Shenanigans while eating moderate to high priced sandwiches on the waterfront. On our third outting we went to Chuckanut in Bellingham for some fun with tide pools...I fell of course and got gross. We hiked..then got trapped at the top of a cliff..had to slide down it almost on my butt..then found ourselves on the other side of a chainlink fence. Finally, I can get arrested for trespassing! Nope..again not to be so..Fence hopping is always fun though. I found myself trapped on the top of the chainlink (damn short legs of mine), and needed to sit on Russes shoulders to get down..A little awkward, and sweaty. hehe.
















KARAOKE- For those of you who didnt come to karaoke you missed out! We had soooo much fun as usual. I attempted to sing White Rabbit for the first time, and actually did alright! I shocked myself. After that, whenever I stood up to sing, a gaggle of bruthas would chant my name as I approached the stage. When we all would stand to sing as a group, these dudes would grab their chairs and sit at the edge of the stage like they expected us to lap dance or something. Sara almost gave that to them..She had her own fanbase that night. haha. Upon leaving the stage, both Kasi and Shawna got kissed by some black chick uberfan. Amazing! Its nice to be appreciated by strangers. haha.




WEEK 2..HELL WEEK- This is where my story takes a different turn...I was asked to leave my sisters house mid week with my kids..so we had to bombard Sara again. Lots of Douchebaggery happened on the part of my bro in law, so staying with them was no longer an option . Then I was without internet for 4 days!! Freaking hell!!!. Saturday we loaded up the truck Jed Clampett style, and attempted to head back..2 hours down the road our fuel pump module broke leaving us stranded. Back to Kasis we headed...for three more days. Tuesday finally came and we got the heck outta dodge. Around 2am and only 6 hours from home, our wooden rails that were built to house my crap, broke and flew off, along with my favorite ottoman, a carseat, and whatever else was leaned up against it. thank heavens we were the only ones on the road. Im really sad over that ottoman....freaking loved that thing. *sigh.







I had quite the adventure..but 2 weeks was tooo long. Cant wait to revisit, but I think i'll be flying next time.