Could you imagine???

I'm an LDS woman..and it has occurred to me lately that filing for this divorce means I will never have sex again. NEVER!! For those of you who dont understand what i'm talking about, LDS people do not have sex unless married..EVER (at least the faithful ones dont.) THIS THOUGHT IS KILLING ME!! Could you imagine having it whenever you want, loving it when you get it, just to have the carpet yanked out from under you real fast all of the sudden? Im sorta depressed about this. I enjoyed it..a lot. At age 30 this is my second divorce from unfaithful men..and my thoughts about remarrying are pretty non existant. My heart has been broken dramatically too many times for me to even consider dating again in the next ten years, let alone marriage. Man, this sucks! Am I alone here? I never even got the chance to have it one last time for closures sake...I know this seems highly inappropriate for a public blog, but this is my journal and Im entitled to my thoughts. This is weighing heavy on my mind right now..AAAAAAAAGH!!